The One Essential Ingredient of a Healthy Family

Marriages and families are messy. That’s because the people who make up those marriages and families are messy.

We’ve all got issues … not a single one of us is perfect. So, what can we do to overcome these imperfections and have the healthy family God wants for us? Well, it takes one simple ingredient …


If you want to see grace in action, look how Jesus reacted to the sinful people in His life.

Think about the woman caught in the act of adultery in John chapter 8. Jesus didn’t beat her over the head with Law—even though she’d broken it. 

As the crowd was ready to stone her, He said in John 8:7, “He who is without sin among you, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.”

Well, Jesus was without sin. And if anyone could’ve cast a stone at her, it would’ve been Him. But He didn’t. Instead, He said to her in verses 10 and 11 …

“Woman, where are they? Did no one condemn you?” She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said, “I do not condemn you, either. Go. From now on sin no more.”

The grace and truth of Jesus to this sinful woman is as plain as day. And that’s exactly what we need to have with our spouse, our kids, our parents, and all our loved ones. We need to treat them with grace and truth. And we need to respond to them and confront them in love and in kindness. 

Look, our kids are facing big problems and pressures today. Transgenderism is sweeping the nation and hitting kids younger and younger. And it’s now the ‘in’ thing to say, “I think I’m really the opposite sex.” You get a lot of attention for that and a lot of accolades, and the devil’s going to cheer you on.

How does a mom or a dad handle that? You don’t blow up. You handle that with the Word of God. You say, “What does God say about it?” 

If you have a child that says, “I’m attracted to the same sex,” take them to the Word of God. Look together at what God has to say on the subject.  

You have to build your family on both grace and truth. If you build your family on a lie, you’re going to wreck and ruin many lives. You’re never going to find peace and joy and contentment in life by going against what the Creator said and how He set up life to function and flourish.  

But you don’t do that by weaponizing the truth of Scripture and beating your spouse or your kids over the head with it. 

You present the Bible to them as God’s invitation to the life only found in His truth. You say, “Let’s look at what God has to say about this. Let’s look at why this is wrong,” and then go from there. 

You respond in grace and truth. 

The apostle Paul wrote in Ephesians 4:32

Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.

Praise God, He is compassionate and gracious toward His children. And if anyone has the right to beat us over the head, it’s the Lord! But He doesn’t. When we blow it, He invites us back into His loving presence. That’s what forgiveness does.

Maybe you’re a parent who has a strained relationship with your child. Maybe you’ve been hurt by your child. The solution is grace.

Maybe your spouse has wronged you, and you’re harboring bitterness and even hatred over it. The solution is grace.

Jesus is full of grace and truth. May He fill us with the same mixture of divine goodness!

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